She was aware of an alien environment .It took her sometime to realise that she was in the doctor’s room . “Awake , is it ?”, the doctor asked her , as she checked her pulse . She smiled at the doctor, “This place makes me feel claustrophobic , can I go now ?”, she asked . “Wait for a while , the place you refer to is my room , you are screened off from the other O.Ps . What did you do, to suffer this ?, she asked Ammu . “What did I do ? I did nothing . I suddenly had these spasms and then I was here , that is all I know . Was it appendicitis ?”, she asked .
“Don’t you ever check the monthly calendar ? You had a miscarriage . You mean to say that you were not even aware that you were pregnant ? Were you not alerted when you missed your monthly period , twice in a row ?”, she asked Ammu . “I missed one , I had thought but sometimes when I am stressed out , things get irregular and out of schedule . I did not realize …”, she was unable to think straight , the news was a shock to her . “I did not ever guess this . Did I goof up on the pill or something ? When did this happen , against all our careful planning ?” she wondered . She pulled the doctor’s white coat sleeve , “How many months?” , she asked , “Almost three months . I am surprised that an educated girl like you missed noticing that her periods were amiss . Why did you overlook ? Had you taken the trouble to find out the reason behind your irregular periods , you would not be here now , lying here like a pathetic thing . Anyway , better luck next time , and maintain a monthly calendar .”, the doctor patted her hand and adjusted the drip . You can go home after another two hours . I will come and check on you before you go home .” , she walked out and opened the door .
“You are her husband ? You can go in and meet her . Better if you keep things calm and stress free for her for a while .”, she said and looked at her mother in law . “Sometimes it is better that they sit aside every month , so that even if they don’t notice , someone in the family will notice that they may be carrying . Does she work or something, for her to be so busy that she forgot to count the days ? Amazes me , only reason may be that she was too busy to notice that two months had gone by . “, she shrugged her shoulders and went on her rounds .
As Jaya walked towards the door , he turned round and looked at his father for guidance . Ishwar sighed and nodded .
He did not see her in the room . The nurse pointed to the drawn screen . He opened it to see her there , half awake , and with the IV tube dripping its contents into her . She was plastered in sweat , even though the room was temperature controlled . “Jaya , …”, huge tears welled in her eyes and he wiped them away even as he was trying to stop the tears which were flowing from his own eyes .”Don’t cry , Jaya , my mistake , I should have guessed . I just thought I was overworked .” , she reached out her hand and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes . “Ammu , you idiot , shut up and listen . What has happened has happened , I don’t want to see you crying and feeling miserable about it . I want you happy , I want this behind us , we will have as many kids as you want , when you want , only no more tears .”, he held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead . She smiled through her tears . At that moment , he knew that the beautiful bride on the water tank , , was replaced by the sweet innocent woman who was smiling her love for him through her tears .
“How could she have not noticed ? Aiyyo , Devaaa, I did not ever think , but …something made me wonder whether she was carrying a few days back . I should have asked her , perhaps she would have given thought to the issue then . What will I tell Ambi ? And Anna , what will I tell him ? “, Meenakshi was wiping her tears with her hand , and her bangles were moving on her wrist silently as if mourning the loss .
“Why did you not look for a cook ? How much of work the child was doing . Now what will Jaya say ? Do you remember your words just before the ill fated incident had occurred ?”, Ishwar was tense and scared of facing his son , for the first time . He felt guilty for all the harsh words he had spoken to her . Now that he tried to recollect the way she looked, she had been looking rather tired and weak . He wondered whether the foetus was a girl or a boy , “Not that it would have mattered or matters anymore now !”, he thought and turned towards the door as he heard it creak .
“Jaya , maybe we should inform Somu and her mother .”, he said . “Appa , I cannot do it .”, Jaya handed the phone to Ishwar . He dialled the landline number , and held the phone to Meenakshi . She took it with much trepidation.
At home , Swathi and Margu were waiting , with the phone next to them . Kripa called and informed Swathi .
Margu looked at her teary face and began to sob . “What happened to Ammu ?”, she asked .
Swathi placed her hand on her middle and gestured with the other hand . “What goes away ?”, Margu asked . “Ammu , baby …”, Swathi began to sob , and Margu hugged her and began to sob too . After a while , she wiped her face and spoke , “How come she never told any of us about her pregnancy ? Not a word from Jaya either .”, she said and went into the kitchen to make some coffee .
Swathi held her belly with both her hands and hung her head down as she cried for the companion her child would have had , but would never have now . “Someone younger , but not the same age as the one who is now gone .”, she thought and looked out of the window at the mango tree .
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Yamini ,
I have charted a rather different path for her , but let us see , how she moves on in life , shall we ?
Afraid there is a two month wait for that .
thank you for reading and commenting . meet you again
luv
ann
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Nidhana , yes indeed , but then you know what ? i think an Indian woman , leave alone her educational qualifications , any Indian woman is so hell bent on pleasing her in-laws and her husband , she forgets to take good care of herself . And I would say that in the long run , it works against the happy family formula , for such attitude can only land he rin a crisis of sorts when she wakes up tp realise that she does not have an identity of her own .
See you and take care . I want to read an entire two months of posts on your new serial when I get back .
much luv
ann
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Yes anjala , and why did she have to stick to the traditional one pill everyday ? now there are so many more convinient options . A smart girl stays informed about the advancements in all spheres of life , right ?
Thank you anjala , take care , going on a vacation , meet you again in July .
much luv and regards
ann
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thank you Tunnelvision.
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Usha , yeah , lets hope she learns to swim in tough waters . see ya dear , meet you in July . Take care .
luv
ann
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hi anna,
I have been following your "thodar kadai" (dint find the apt english word!!). I felt really really sorry for ammu. I just hope you have created brighter days for her.
Regards,
Yamini
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I am glad in a way it is only a miscarriage at an early stage. Many girls go through months without a period mostly because of stress and hormones. How is she to know? I feel sorry for her. Angry with Jaya for not taking better care of his wife
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funnily, I did not feel angry in the last one ..only sad for her. Angry with whom? All are culpable in different ways. And here, who are the guilty? If she was on the Pill, she probably forgot to take it half the time..maybe because she was dead tired..but still, as the doc said...an educated girl like her...well, let's hope it is a wake up call for all :)) and Ammu had better learn about self-care, na?
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anna,
Very poignant story…
You are invited to read the blog/story:
Cricket: The National Fix
For the sake of honor (Part 2)
Looking forward to your learned comments.
Warm regards,
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hmm poor thing.. she did not even know! so sad
hope everything turns out well for her..
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