MOOGAMBIGAI- WILL THE GUILTY OWN UP ?

May 9 2008  | Views 530 |  Comments  (11)
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She was aware of an alien environment .It took her sometime to realise that she was in the doctor’s room . “Awake , is it ?”, the doctor asked her , as she checked her pulse . She smiled at the doctor, “This place makes me feel claustrophobic , can I go now ?”, she asked . “Wait for a while , the place you refer to is my room , you are screened off from the other O.Ps . What did you do, to suffer this ?, she asked Ammu . “What did I do ? I did nothing . I suddenly had these spasms and then I was here , that is all I know . Was it appendicitis ?”, she asked .

“Don’t you ever check the monthly calendar ? You had a miscarriage . You mean to say that you were not even aware that you were pregnant ? Were you not alerted when you missed your monthly period , twice in a row ?”, she asked Ammu . “I missed one , I had thought but sometimes when I am stressed out , things get irregular and out of schedule . I did not realize …”, she was unable to think straight , the news was a shock to her . “I did not ever guess this . Did I goof up on the pill or something ? When did this happen , against all our careful planning ?” she wondered . She pulled the doctor’s white coat sleeve , “How many months?” , she asked , “Almost three months . I am surprised that an educated girl like you missed noticing that her periods were amiss . Why did you overlook ? Had you taken the trouble to find out the reason behind your irregular periods , you would not be here now , lying here like a pathetic thing . Anyway , better luck next time , and maintain a monthly calendar .”, the doctor patted her hand and adjusted the drip . You can go home after another two hours . I will come and check on you before you go home .” , she walked out and opened the door .

“You are her husband ? You can go in and meet her . Better if you keep things calm and stress free for her for a while .”, she said and looked at her mother in law . “Sometimes it is better that they sit aside every month , so that even if they don’t notice , someone in the family will notice that they may be carrying . Does she work or something, for her to be so busy that she forgot to count the days ? Amazes me , only reason may be that she was too busy to notice that two months had gone by . “, she shrugged her shoulders and went on her rounds .

As Jaya walked towards the door , he turned round and looked at his father for guidance . Ishwar sighed and nodded .

He did not see her in the room . The nurse pointed to the drawn screen . He opened it to see her there , half awake , and with the IV tube dripping its contents into her . She was plastered in sweat , even though the room was temperature controlled . “Jaya , …”, huge tears welled in her eyes and he wiped them away even as he was trying to stop the tears which were flowing from his own eyes .”Don’t cry , Jaya , my mistake , I should have guessed . I just thought I was overworked .” , she reached out her hand and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes . “Ammu , you idiot , shut up and listen . What has happened has happened , I don’t want to see you crying and feeling miserable about it . I want you happy , I want this behind us , we will have as many kids as you want , when you want , only no more tears .”, he held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead . She smiled through her tears . At that moment , he knew that the beautiful bride on the water tank , , was replaced by the sweet innocent woman who was smiling her love for him through her tears .

“How could she have not noticed ? Aiyyo , Devaaa, I did not ever think , but …something made me wonder whether she was carrying a few days back . I should have asked her , perhaps she would have given thought to the issue then . What will I tell Ambi ? And Anna , what will I tell him ? “, Meenakshi was wiping her tears with her hand , and her bangles were moving on her wrist silently as if mourning the loss .

“Why did you not look for a cook ? How much of work the child was doing . Now what will Jaya say ? Do you remember your words just before the ill fated incident had occurred ?”, Ishwar was tense and scared of facing his son , for the first time . He felt guilty for all the harsh words he had spoken to her . Now that he tried to recollect the way she looked, she had been looking rather tired and weak . He wondered whether the foetus was a girl or a boy , “Not that it would have mattered or matters anymore now !”, he thought and turned towards the door as he heard it creak .

“Jaya , maybe we should inform Somu and her mother .”, he said . “Appa , I cannot do it .”, Jaya handed the phone to Ishwar . He dialled the landline number , and held the phone to Meenakshi . She took it with much trepidation.

At home , Swathi and Margu were waiting , with the phone next to them . Kripa called and informed Swathi .

Margu looked at her teary face and began to sob . “What happened to Ammu ?”, she asked .

Swathi placed her hand on her middle and gestured with the other hand . “What goes away ?”, Margu asked . “Ammu , baby …”, Swathi began to sob , and Margu hugged her and began to sob too . After a while , she wiped her face and spoke , “How come she never told any of us about her pregnancy ? Not a word from Jaya either .”, she said and went into the kitchen to make some coffee .

Swathi held her belly with both her hands and hung her head down as she cried for the companion her child would have had , but would never have now . “Someone younger , but not the same age as the one who is now gone .”, she thought and looked out of the window at the mango tree .

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