Ambika was in a daze . She could not comprehend the when and why of it all . “Why did she not mention it to me ?”, she wondered . Somasundaram was chanting his favourite invocations to calm his self . Radhamma the simpleton had wailed in agony for a whole of five minutes and had gone in .

She came out with a suitcase . “Anna , get me onto the train , I will go and stay there till there is someone else to help Ammu with the chores .”

Somasundaram smiled at her patiently . “Radhamma , let us not react in haste . Give them some credit at least . They are known to us and my sister is not someone who will let something like that happen on purpose , maybe this was destined .”

“Your sister , always your sister , so many years of marriage and still you go on about how wonderful everyone from your side of the family is . My daughter is overloaded with work there , you know that . She has to adjust , it is her family , I agree . But they too should remember that she is a child who is not used to such heavy manual labour . “ , Ambika was very angry with Somasundaram and the world in general .

Somasundaram, resigned himself to the fact that he would have to endure her venting out aloud for an hour or so . But surprisingly Ambika walked away and went into the backyard , where she was gone for more than three quarters of an hour .

His curiosity got the better of him . He walked to the backyard to see her pulling at something . “What are you doing Ambi ?”, he asked her . “Venting usefully , I am weeding , and it is helping me balance out my emotions . You act as if I am a virago which I am not . And from now on I will keep my silence . You be your self always , no matter what , remain your soft silent self and accept things as they come , even if they affect your daughter’s life .”, she said and tried not to cry . “I will not cry , she will have many more children, this one was not meant to be .” she kept telling herself , as she weeded out the weeds , pulling at them with all her might , the sweat bathing her in its saltiness , even as the breeze cooled her with a mother’s caress .

“Swathi , here wear this . “, her mother had brought them their lunch , for the two girls. Swathi was surprised when her mother asked her to take her upstairs to their bedroom . She had wondered , why her mother had asked her to show the room all of a sudden .

She looked at the amulet tied in the black thread . “What is this for ?”, she asked her mother . “It is to guard you from the evil eye . Just imagine how happy and healthy you will look to Ammu and her side of the family . Ammu will be envious of you. This will protect you and the child from her and others who are suffering her miscarriage . “

“Amma ,what are you saying !”, Swathi was shocked by her mother’s words .

“Yes , so many evil glances can affect you . There is no way out , with your Grandmother needing all my attention , otherwise I would not have kept you here even for a minute after her miscarriage .”

“Amma !”, Swathi was angry with her mother now , “If not for the way all of us rested while she toiled away , if not for the exertion , she would not have lost the baby . I am guilty too , I could have helped with the small things , like setting the table , cutting vegetables , and so on . But I lazed around , feeling indulged . Now I feel guilty for what has happened to her . And don’t forget , I had two miscarriages myself , though no one other than you and Kripa know about it . And did not Rekha come home for her delivery when I had my second miscarriage ? You never ever thought then that I would cast an evil eye on Rekha and her baby . So why do you think so now ? I think , if evil eye exists at all , Ammu is suffering enough because a lot of people have cast an evil eye on her . Give me the amulet , she needs it more than I do , I will tie it to her as soon as she comes home . “ , Swathi snatched the amulet from her mother and walked downstairs straight into the pooja room and placed it in there , near the photo of the happy family of Shiva and Parvati with their two sons and a whole lot of their followers . She walked out angrily and sat down on the swing in the veranda waiting for Ammu to come back . Her mother was angry too .

“I am going home , eat your food , and remember , I always wish you well .”, she said and walked out of the gate , without a backwards glance . Swathi sighed and began to shed tears of guilt , as she thought of Ammu and how she did not deserve the pain in exchange for her love and innocence .

Margu came out and sat next to her on a chair . “Don’t you feel nauseous when you sit on the swing ?” , she asked . “Right now I feel nauseous that it was all the work she had to cope with that made her lose the baby . How is she different from you and me ? Did she not deserve to rest too , ? Given a chance we choose to run away from work , when there is a willing donkey to do it for us . She is a stupid donkey , and I was very lazy.”, she said , angrily .

“I was not lazy and I am here because I need bed rest .”. Margu replied .

“You were overworked , so was she , but you were luckier , she wasn’t and she suffered , that is the only difference . “, Swathi said and got up . “Come , let us have our lunch . I will set the table , you get us the water . “ , she said and walked into the dining room . Margu was left to wonder about the change in Swathi , as she sat all alone on the chair and an empty swing swung gently in front of her .

“The cradle swings empty for Ammu now , God , please grant her another bonny child soon, whatever the reasons for this miscarriage may be .”, she prayed with her hands folded and her head bent , even as she struggled to keep her tears at bay .

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Am afraid I will be away on a summern vacation , and will be posting the next post on the 17th of July . Sorry folks .

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